Good art and all, but lacking still.
Ok, lets start with some basic things here.
Internal and External Rhythm.
-Now, Internal rhythm is whats on the film, raw, with no sound or music.
-External rhythm is how well the sound fits the movie, (slow paced, fast paced), and how well it builds the "charecter" of the movie.
Ex: fast paced, slow paced, etc.
If I were turn the sound off and watch the movie with no music, all I see is a bunch off long, drawn out, slow zooming cuts. This suggests the movie isn't very "actiony".
The music on the otherhand, is very quick paced, with loads of fast beats and the like. This suggests quite the opposite of the raw movie.
To make this movie fit with the music better, not only do you need to sync the music better but you also need to:
-create more shots to break up the long drawn out feel.
-eliminate unnecicary shots that have nothing to do with much.
-instead of slow gradual zoom-ins, have quick, tight zooms that end up cockeyed and off angle. (because everyone loves those, heh)
Overall, not a bad attempt, good art, but the rhythm of the movie just doesnt match the rhythm of the sound.